THE GIRL BEHIND THE SCREEN

Hey Sugar stars,

I share a few things with you guys,

but I keep loads of things to myself.

After I came back from Dubai.

I felt motivated.

Motivation I’ve never felt before. I come across as this strong woman. People look up to me. They feel like i don’t have an ounce of weakness in me , but I do. Everyone does.

I am a happy lady  but I’ve started to feel slighty down, i feel like something triggered it because I was totally fine before. Maybe ….I saw so many love scenes on holiday or people kept on bringing up the topic about him.

I  couldn’t move from my bed.

One thing that kept me glued to my bed was the thought of someone.

Tears started trickling from my eyes yet again.

My heartaches. I generally don’t understand why I still think about that person. There’s some feelings I just can’t fight.

Missing someone you love and probably will never stop loving is hard .

I’ve never felt like this towards someone in my life.

It’s a sickly feeling.

I honestly thought letting go would be way easier than this .

I usually find it so easy to let go of people.

I guess I  loved this person with no barriers , it was deep.

Love doesn’t hurt , letting go of someone you love does.

However I think it was for the greater good.

I think about that person everyday , even when I am consumed with so many thoughts I still manage to think about them.

As much as I try not to admit it .

I’m scared to open the door again .

Every new person that approaches me.

I end up shutting the door. I’m not the type of girl to go beating around the bush. I choose to abstain from sex to avoid building lustful relationships.

I thought I was open to love again but I am not ready for chapter 2. I hate it when people ask if I have a bf when im still tryna get over someone. It makes the process difficult.

I’m meant to be strong. Not weak but for once I can admit ,I don’t think I’m strong enough for this. Sometimes I just want to be left alone with no questions. I want to get over it alone with no interruptions.

I feel like I need time to continue to enjoy being single because I’m la la lovingggg it atm. I love myselffff.I don’t want to talk about what happened. That’s a story I will keep to myself and share with no one because it was between two people and not the world.I don’t want to play the blame game. Blaming myself for everything.

On the plus side I love …LOVE.

I think it’s a beautiful thing .

To see people in love or showing love towards one another.

It brings me inner happiness.

Sometimes I wish I could change situations but I can’t because I am not God.

Everything happens for a reason.

I made the decision.

I learnt and I am still learning.I can’t let something so natural beat me up and make me feel unmotivated. In fact I should feel more motivated to do better and become better. Sometimes I laugh at myself because there are people in the world dying of hunger. Here I am sobbing about my love life. Is this life? I have to learn to block away the interruptions so I don’t feel down again. I have to keep swimming and moving forward because I only end up torturing myself.

I will rise , you will rise . We are all superstars.

Love

Insightyourstar